I had a completely different topic scheduled for this week's blog but decided that this one may be a bit more important (or at least it seemed to be more present for me this week).
For a long time, Rob and I have volunteered at various organizations. Personally, we have always found organizations that we believe in or missions that we align with. To be honest, there are quite a few organizations and missions that we are passionate about but we try to narrow our focus to maximize our efforts. A big focus for us has been homeless hospitality and assistance. In Milwaukee, we worked with Repairers of the Breach, Riverwest Food Pantry and Guest House to name a few. When we moved to Seattle we dove right into volunteering and found a great group of people to help provide and handout food to the homeless every Sunday. Seattle's community efforts for the homeless population have grown wildly over the last 10+ years. There are people and organizations that help provide food for lunch and dinner, seven days a week--seven(!) The Seattle council has taken extraordinary measures to improve the respect for homeless and/or backpackers and ensure their well-being; even passing a measure prohibiting harassment or hate crimes. They formed a 10-year plan to end homelessness and put forth $46 million each year to help make that happen. They have created what's called "Tent City"; it is a place that provides temporary housing for homeless or hikers by using temporary structures (tents). Seattle has also generated Operation Sack Lunch, a homeless feeding program which Rob and I now volunteer with.
When talking with people about our volunteer work, I have noticed that there is quite a stereotype surrounding the homeless population and I continuously strive to prove that society shouldn't read a book by its cover. Perhaps we have read something or were told by someone that homeless people are dangerous and dirty or bad people with poor intentions. Perhaps we were told that they are just "sucking from the teet" or living off the life of hard-working people. Well, speaking first-hand from meeting and befriending quite a number of homeless people, I'll tell you that it's just not true. Sure, yes, sometimes they don't have the freshest body odor or may be dirty, but that's understandable...have you ever backpacked or hiked for a week straight without a hot shower?! Yep, you smell. You don't have the resources to ensure that you'll smell good after hoofing your 80lb backpack around every day, do you? I think that's completely understandable, no?! As for dangerous...isn't anyone technically dangerous? We've read or heard in the news plenty of times where the story starts..."He was a blue collar business man and wonderful family man with 3 kids and a wife. We never would've predicted that he would've done something like this..." Dateline anyone?! Again, reading the book by the cover.
Most often, in my experience, homeless people are the most grateful people I have ever met. They force me to step back and take record of my life. If they can live and survive with little to no resources; why am I living with so many? I've learned through training that most homeless people are not looking for money, they're looking for respect and support to get on their feet again. The biggest stereotype, in my opinion, is that they are looking for pity or sympathy and are unwilling to do anything to move themselves forward in this world [or community]. That is simply not the case and if it were, why are we not setting the example, and instead, complaining that this is who they supposedly are? While there are those few that have gotten stung by the substance abuse bug, there are a lot who are part of a terrible cyclical pattern in their relation; that they unfortunately can't escape from. For others, it's honestly just where they'd like to be (live) and they demand nothing but are grateful for anything. One young man that I met, lost his job and most of the family around him due to illness and estrange. He now has very little money and few people to rely on for support. Until he finds another job, this is his home. I can completely relate to that as I currently don't have a job and it's proving to take longer than expected to retrieve another. I am blessed that I not only have Rob to help me until I find another job, but I have an amazing support group a.k.a. my immediate family. (Shout out--I am beyond grateful every single day!!) If, however, I did not have that support group either because of illness in a family member [that couldn't help me] or death of family members, I would be in the same place.
We've all seen the people who stand on the corner at a stoplight with a sign asking for something, perhaps it's money or food and perhaps that's just what they want. Aren't we all allowed to want something? Most of the time, I feel they are the most honest and even include what your money (if they receive it) will pay for; i.e.: booze, drugs, etc. I also feel that they are probably at a different stage in their homelessness and other things are more important to them and who are we to judge? They are not forcing you to give them money or food but they are also not asking for judgement or abuse of any kind. They are people just like you and I; a person who deserves just as much respect as the next one. We don't know anyone's story until we ask or communicate. What happened to pure care of another human being? Yes, someone who is just trying to survive in this world like you and me... I used to work in an environment that was a luxury service provider. (I am sharing this next story with you to show a point and hopefully I will not offend anyone.) I worked in an environment where I would, on occasion, be yelled at (yes yelled at) because I couldn't get them in for their scheduled brow wax due to their tardiness of their appointment time and the service provider was completely booked back-to-back with many other guests to serve. I know the guest wasn't mad at me when they were yelling; maybe there were other things going on in their life or they had a bad day. I certainly wasn't going to judge them but instead do the best that I could to ensure their satisfaction in the moment. I always had this weird out-of-body experience during those moments though because I thought, "Is this really what you are upset about right now? Really? This? This "luxury" service that you can't get done today [but probably tomorrow instead] you're upset with? ...Like, you do realize that $25 could help feed a small population of people right?!..." Now, who am I to even think that or judge? This person could be an extreme donor of the community who supports many efforts with their time and money but it seems a bit oxymoronic, don't you think?! Believe me, I am not perfect and have gotten upset about things as well, I am human after all, but I do my best and seek to understand first and certainly wouldn't yell while doing it (unless you're my husband...sometimes there may or may not be a louder volume from my voice...sorry honey!).
I have always been a "people-watcher" and find it funny that none of us want to talk to each other. I mean, whether we're standing in a line waiting for our coffee or passing each other on the street. No one wants to lift their head from their device to have a conversation, a real conversation with a human instead of a computer; yet we all want to "connect" in the virtual world. It's absolutely hilarious to me. This goes for the homeless person sitting on a bench in the park too. Why don't we say "hi" or give them a smile? We pass them as if they aren't human or part of society; they don't deserve our respect and why? We are all flesh and blood living in this wild world. Some of us driving BMWs and carrying the latest iPhone, others driving a suitcase and carrying the latest obtained item to keep warm. Regardless of our status, we have all gotten to this amazing life and why not help each other out or at the very least, communicate with each other? It's amazing what you'd find out. I often ask myself how it was possible that I ended up with this life. I could've easily been born into a much different situation, but I wasn't. So what will I do with this privilege?...
Monday, April 25, 2016
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
I am not a writer, but I am a reader!
I love reading. I love to physically hold a book and smell the spine. I love to turn each page and see my bookmark to know either how much I've read, or how much I have yet to go. It's comfort and coziness.
I was never a good reader when I was younger. I never got the scholastic awards and always grabbed for Cliff's Notes whenever viable. In fact, in middle school, we'd have book tests (usually on a computer in the library)...I can't remember the name for these tests--St. John's folks: do any of you remember?! It's driving me nuts! Anyway, we'd have these tests and I'd either quickly read the chapter names and skim a few pages before the test to hopefully grab enough key words from the book to pass, or I would put the book on my lap during the test and try to discretely page through to answer each question as it came up on the screen. Neither trick worked; I always failed...and I should've, I didn't deserve a passing grade. I honestly think that at that time I didn't like to read because I was being forced to read. I mean sure, sure there was my love of the Boxcar Children and Beverly Cleary's Ramona, but I couldn't always read those. We had to choose [sometimes] from some fixed genres or a specific list of books and it just wasn't always appealing to me. When I got to High School, I was certainly never put into the English classes where students read To Kill a Mockingbird or Catch 22...(full disclosure, I still haven't read them). I felt a little "fomo*" and also slightly relieved because at the time, those books didn't sound appealing to me either. After the 'you-have-to-do-this-to-graduate' part of my life, I began to do my research on books. I started checking out People's Picks and the New York Times Bestseller list in search of the "right" books. I started (and I hate that the following word is part of my vocabulary but alas...) 'googling' genres to understand what I truly enjoyed; or at least where I wanted to start. (Side bar: Did you know that every book is either Fiction or Non-fiction? I mean, I get it, but then why all the 'hoopla' on literary sub-genres [in the library] including Mystery and Romance and Fantasy?! Like, if it isn't hard enough to find a book that I actually want to read, I now need to search through all the little numbers and titles in a sub-section...Can't we just keep it easy? Left side of the library is Fiction, Right side is Non-fiction; have at it!) Anywhoodle, it was a fun journey and soon enough I was off and reading some really wonderful books. I have to appreciate this process; though long and [sometimes] exhausting. It has been a great learning experience; reading more has sharpened my vocabulary skills and helped me understand what I like (what I want to believe) and where I want to travel for the week (figuratively speaking). It's always a nice escape from reality to sit down with a good book and get lost for a few hours. Have you ever procrastinated reading/finishing a book because it was so good you didn't want it to end? I have done that with many; most recently The Girl on the Train. It.was.so.good. Then, when I was done, I re-read the last few pages because I just couldn't accept that it was over. Through my book-journey, I now have a divergent respect for authors and certainly librarians-phew!
Even though I will always like the weight of a book in my hands...I have to say, I love me a Kindle...One of the best parts (in my opinion) about having technology in my hand instead of a paper book is that you can literally get the definition of a word or any information in a snap! When I'm reading paper books, I usually keep my phone right next to me (poor habit) just in case I am unsure of a phrase or am unfamiliar with the meaning of a word and boom! I can-- God help us-- google it. Technology is pretty cool though. It's truly amazing what we can do with a device as big as our hand and it's absolutely stupefying to think about where it will go in the future...
Well, happy reading to you all--hope you're enjoying your latest reads! I'd love to hear your journey to Reading Reading Land. What's in my hands you ask?: All the Light We Cannot See (can't wait to finish...in a good way) :)
*fomo: fear of missing out.
I was never a good reader when I was younger. I never got the scholastic awards and always grabbed for Cliff's Notes whenever viable. In fact, in middle school, we'd have book tests (usually on a computer in the library)...I can't remember the name for these tests--St. John's folks: do any of you remember?! It's driving me nuts! Anyway, we'd have these tests and I'd either quickly read the chapter names and skim a few pages before the test to hopefully grab enough key words from the book to pass, or I would put the book on my lap during the test and try to discretely page through to answer each question as it came up on the screen. Neither trick worked; I always failed...and I should've, I didn't deserve a passing grade. I honestly think that at that time I didn't like to read because I was being forced to read. I mean sure, sure there was my love of the Boxcar Children and Beverly Cleary's Ramona, but I couldn't always read those. We had to choose [sometimes] from some fixed genres or a specific list of books and it just wasn't always appealing to me. When I got to High School, I was certainly never put into the English classes where students read To Kill a Mockingbird or Catch 22...(full disclosure, I still haven't read them). I felt a little "fomo*" and also slightly relieved because at the time, those books didn't sound appealing to me either. After the 'you-have-to-do-this-to-graduate' part of my life, I began to do my research on books. I started checking out People's Picks and the New York Times Bestseller list in search of the "right" books. I started (and I hate that the following word is part of my vocabulary but alas...) 'googling' genres to understand what I truly enjoyed; or at least where I wanted to start. (Side bar: Did you know that every book is either Fiction or Non-fiction? I mean, I get it, but then why all the 'hoopla' on literary sub-genres [in the library] including Mystery and Romance and Fantasy?! Like, if it isn't hard enough to find a book that I actually want to read, I now need to search through all the little numbers and titles in a sub-section...Can't we just keep it easy? Left side of the library is Fiction, Right side is Non-fiction; have at it!) Anywhoodle, it was a fun journey and soon enough I was off and reading some really wonderful books. I have to appreciate this process; though long and [sometimes] exhausting. It has been a great learning experience; reading more has sharpened my vocabulary skills and helped me understand what I like (what I want to believe) and where I want to travel for the week (figuratively speaking). It's always a nice escape from reality to sit down with a good book and get lost for a few hours. Have you ever procrastinated reading/finishing a book because it was so good you didn't want it to end? I have done that with many; most recently The Girl on the Train. It.was.so.good. Then, when I was done, I re-read the last few pages because I just couldn't accept that it was over. Through my book-journey, I now have a divergent respect for authors and certainly librarians-phew!
Even though I will always like the weight of a book in my hands...I have to say, I love me a Kindle...One of the best parts (in my opinion) about having technology in my hand instead of a paper book is that you can literally get the definition of a word or any information in a snap! When I'm reading paper books, I usually keep my phone right next to me (poor habit) just in case I am unsure of a phrase or am unfamiliar with the meaning of a word and boom! I can-- God help us-- google it. Technology is pretty cool though. It's truly amazing what we can do with a device as big as our hand and it's absolutely stupefying to think about where it will go in the future...
Well, happy reading to you all--hope you're enjoying your latest reads! I'd love to hear your journey to Reading Reading Land. What's in my hands you ask?: All the Light We Cannot See (can't wait to finish...in a good way) :)
*fomo: fear of missing out.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
It's okay...
I've struggled with Facebook for a long time...I've struggled with Facebook because [in my opinion] I feel that it's just another superficial outlet for people. I had a relationship with Facebook for 10 years--10 YEARS! before my disappearing act from '15 to '16. How many things in life have you been in a relationship with for 10 years? I haven't even kept a job that long! (by choice) I mean, c'mon, we're all sharing our most fabulous moments in life; who can go on the best vacation or have the best Christmas picture. It's just not real to me. Most people are not going to share their ('scues my french) shitty days when they're fighting with their spouse or crying on the bathroom floor because they can't seem to lose those 10 extra pounds. It's all the best, all the time. AND SOME even posting only the BEST photos of themselves and deleting the others that look less flattering...you know who you are...I used to be one of them. Now don't get me wrong, I have seen some pretty emotional, honest posts that have been very real, raw situations. Either way, whatever kind of social media (or "soshmeed", as I like to call it) person you are, aren't we all looking for some validation at the end of the day? Hell, I'm even looking for it in this blog...amiright?! Sympathize with me through this tough day...Celebrate with my kid who turned one and you've never met...Agree with me on my political views...the list is endless. Again, I literally just shared pictures from my vacation yesterday--haha and yes, it was a lot of fun and yes, I live a fortunate life that I truly thank God for each day but I just hate falling into the trap of playing this role that isn't totally me. That's clearly why I started this blog. haha. Anyway, I had a few "ah-hah" moments recently that have made me realize that it might be okay to 'let go' and have fun with soshmeed instead of analyze it all the time.
I read a book recently that completely resonated with me in so many ways. Very few of you know that I struggle to 'be me'. I know that probably sounds funny, but I do...everyday. I struggle with how I look, how I talk, what I eat, what I want to do with my life, do people like me, what do people ultimately think of me...and on and on. It's this vicious cycle in my head every. single. day. I had a panic attack the other day because I'm 2 years from turning 35 and I freaked out just thinking about that number! When I was 25, I thought 35 was so old and now I'm freaking there!! WTH?! How did that happen? I started worrying even more because I haven't done everything that I want to do yet; I have big dreams and goals that I want to achieve and I haven't quite gotten to them yet. [Complete side note: If you have "wild" dreams...please don't think they are unattainable. I write mine down every year and 1 by 1, I check them off...you seriously can do anything! Don't let money or time be the judge. I used to think that I couldn't do certain things because I didn't have the money. When I actually sat down at the end of the day, I really didn't need the money to get what I wanted or where I wanted to be. #digression] Back to freaking out...I started to really panic when I was thinking of all of these things and on top of that, being a woman at almost 35, society, myself and -possibly some peers- start to put added pressure of having children on that plate too. It's so overwhelming! Rob and I have always put our careers and our needs/wants first. There are lots of things that we want to achieve in our careers and with each other, and we don't want to give up our selfishness yet and I don't feel that we need to justify that. Children are a 24/7 commitment (there are no sick days or vacations) and over the last 2 years Rob and I have really worked hard on our relationship. It changes and grows and when that initially started happening; we weren't 100% ready for it to change. There were, and still are, lots of things that we are learning through the evolution of our relationship but we're both willing to fight and so that gives us the hope that we need to continue moving forward. Relationships, and marriage especially, are so complex. When I read this book--that shall remain nameless for now--it calmed these anxious feelings of mine and really forced me to reflect on my life. I LOVE books or movies that do that to me. They ground me and bring me back to an "it's okay" spot. I can ask myself questions that I don't normally ask everyday. i.e.: Am I filling my body with good food? Am I the healthiest I can be? Am I exercising enough? Where is my faith at? Do I feel fulfilled in my career? Am I the person I want people to remember?... For the first time in a really, really long time, I feel good about me. I feel in control. I hate feeling out of control (which is another struggle--just ask my husband. hehe)...being out of control is so uncomfortable even though I know that life in general is out of my control. Through reflecting, I have started to understand who I am and who I want to continue to be. I don't want to always fall in the trend, I want to define Claire and create my own trend; hence the 'letting go'. Whether my Facebook posts are of good things all the time or a couple of photos without makeup and baring my wrinkles; I know that it's all going to be okay...
I read a book recently that completely resonated with me in so many ways. Very few of you know that I struggle to 'be me'. I know that probably sounds funny, but I do...everyday. I struggle with how I look, how I talk, what I eat, what I want to do with my life, do people like me, what do people ultimately think of me...and on and on. It's this vicious cycle in my head every. single. day. I had a panic attack the other day because I'm 2 years from turning 35 and I freaked out just thinking about that number! When I was 25, I thought 35 was so old and now I'm freaking there!! WTH?! How did that happen? I started worrying even more because I haven't done everything that I want to do yet; I have big dreams and goals that I want to achieve and I haven't quite gotten to them yet. [Complete side note: If you have "wild" dreams...please don't think they are unattainable. I write mine down every year and 1 by 1, I check them off...you seriously can do anything! Don't let money or time be the judge. I used to think that I couldn't do certain things because I didn't have the money. When I actually sat down at the end of the day, I really didn't need the money to get what I wanted or where I wanted to be. #digression] Back to freaking out...I started to really panic when I was thinking of all of these things and on top of that, being a woman at almost 35, society, myself and -possibly some peers- start to put added pressure of having children on that plate too. It's so overwhelming! Rob and I have always put our careers and our needs/wants first. There are lots of things that we want to achieve in our careers and with each other, and we don't want to give up our selfishness yet and I don't feel that we need to justify that. Children are a 24/7 commitment (there are no sick days or vacations) and over the last 2 years Rob and I have really worked hard on our relationship. It changes and grows and when that initially started happening; we weren't 100% ready for it to change. There were, and still are, lots of things that we are learning through the evolution of our relationship but we're both willing to fight and so that gives us the hope that we need to continue moving forward. Relationships, and marriage especially, are so complex. When I read this book--that shall remain nameless for now--it calmed these anxious feelings of mine and really forced me to reflect on my life. I LOVE books or movies that do that to me. They ground me and bring me back to an "it's okay" spot. I can ask myself questions that I don't normally ask everyday. i.e.: Am I filling my body with good food? Am I the healthiest I can be? Am I exercising enough? Where is my faith at? Do I feel fulfilled in my career? Am I the person I want people to remember?... For the first time in a really, really long time, I feel good about me. I feel in control. I hate feeling out of control (which is another struggle--just ask my husband. hehe)...being out of control is so uncomfortable even though I know that life in general is out of my control. Through reflecting, I have started to understand who I am and who I want to continue to be. I don't want to always fall in the trend, I want to define Claire and create my own trend; hence the 'letting go'. Whether my Facebook posts are of good things all the time or a couple of photos without makeup and baring my wrinkles; I know that it's all going to be okay...
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